Sometimes we get so involved in little things that we spiral down a hole that seems almost impossible to escape. We end up in a place where we feel helpless, lost, and completely overwhelmed out of the fear that this is all there is to life. At the point of the maximum distress, we almost give up and decide to simply fall into a day-to-day routine so that everything is easier. In the process, we give up on our dreams and desires and simply exist.

Such problems we face in our modern world arise from a lack of true life meaning. The pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain are not the only motivators of human activity. The search for meaning is a vitally important element of a healthy human life.

Of course, a lack of meaning is very easy to develop. We live in a society where social competition among the multitudes of people in our everyday lives can overwhelm us. Those who suffer and die around the globe teach us that the regard for human life is a priority. The myriad ways in which we are treated like statistics leads us to believe that we are unimportant.

Instead of developing our unique talents to the unbelievable levels that we are truly capable, we prefer to compare ourselves to others. In the end, we don’t even bother to begin the works that could bring us the joy we all hope to have in our lives.

Many people don’t know why they are alive, nor do they give it much thought. Yet, a life without meaning is unbearable regardless of what we’ve come to accept. This is why so many people die within a few short years of retirement. It’s why the unemployed feel overwhelmingly depressed and worthless. It’s also why some wealthy and famous individuals are desperately unhappy.

To enrich your life and find meaning, realize that life itself is nothing more than a series of events that occur over time. True meaning comes once you are able to effectively handle all of the events that are involved in your life and turn those events into positive enhancements to your daily life. It means nothing without our involvement, in one way or another.

Life is not the problem. Life is never the problem. It is the way we manage our involvement in life that either gives us problems or creates a fulfilling and meaningful life. This sounds overwhelming, but the only way to live a full life and achieve everything that you desire is to take control of your life.

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I often meet people who say things like, “I’ve been working with mindfulness for over twenty years.”

My response is always this: “Oh, you poor thing! Have you tried *playing* with mindfulness? It’s very effective, and much more fun!”

They tend to look at me like I’m some kind of kook, and then ask the million-dollar question: “How can you play with mindfulness?” Glad you asked….

We tend to think of mindfulness as something that develops only after years of dedicated meditation. We must sit for hours, contemplate in silence for days, go on retreats for weeks, practice daily for years. Okay, that can work.

The unfortunate thing is that it IS work, and consequently, it’s about as appealing to most folks as lying on a bed of nails. Sure, they want to develop a clearer perspective on life. Yes, they want to become calm and contemplative. Of course they want to live more meaningfully and with greater joy. But does it have to be so hard?

Absolutely not. You see, while most people knock politely on that front door of meditation in order to get inside the House of Mindfulness, I like to sneak people in the back door to steal a few cookies. Why can’t we play with mindfulness, dance with it, treat it like our favorite goofy cousin who happens to be brilliant instead of our strict uncle who happens to have a Ph.D?

Why can’t we tiptoe toward mindfulness through eyes-wide-open exercises that are engaging, uplifting, informative, and–dare I say it–fun?

Mindfulness should be like a big game of mental hide-and-seek: “Where am I now? Gotcha!”

As a student of Buddhism for nearly 30 years, I have the greatest respect for the Buddha and the philosophy that developed around his teachings. I have tremendous admiration for those who have dedicated themselves to a regular meditation practice.

But it’s disturbing to me that mindfulness is seen as “belonging” to Buddhism and that meditation is seen as the only vehicle that will take us there. This sounds a bit like, oh, attachment? Clinging, perhaps?

I just can’t find it in my heart to believe that the Buddha would be ticked off about the idea of developing mindfulness in whatever way works best.

Not everyone likes the idea of meditation, but here’s the cool part: those who start off with easy, enjoyable exercises often find themselves seeing the value in sitting still. In fact, many clients say they’d never have started with meditation, but they so enjoyed “playing” with mindfulness that they have begun a regular sitting practice!

Sneaky? Sure, but that’s part of playing. Fun–in whatever form that takes–is what keeps us going back for more. If you’re not grinning, you’re not winning in this big ol’ game of life.

If “working” on mindfulness isn’t working for you, try playing instead.

Throw open the doors.
Let your inner monk go out
and play. It’s recess!

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Conspiracy of Silence

 by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers – Column for the week of January 12, 2004

I’m hoping you can help me with a moral problem that crops up every now and then in my personal and professional life. Sometimes I find myself being blamed for an error or lack of judgment that actually occurred on someone else’s part. For example, I asked someone at work about using a certain location for a display, was given the go-ahead, then chastised for using that location.

When the only way I can defend myself involves pointing the finger at someone else, I’m in a real quandary. I am rarely prepared to defend myself if it means making someone else look bad. I handle the problem by saying nothing. I simply don’t know what to say.

There is usually ample opportunity for the person responsible to come forward, but I find that hardly ever happens. How can I handle this type of problem without taking the low road of attacking others? What is the moral or ethical thing to do?

Karla

Karla, each of us has principles of behavior rattling around in our head. These principles range from the Golden Rule to Miss Manners’ etiquette to the Boy Scout Creed. Often we are not sure which principle to apply.

The principle you are applying here is the playground and schoolyard rule which says one shouldn’t snitch to a parent or teacher. It is not an ethical rule so much as a rule children employ in play. A much more basic rule applies. That is the rule which says, in simple justice, each of us deserves to be known for the person we are.

Your lack of explanations makes you look guilty. Coming forward and explaining why you acted as you did should not be a moral or ethical problem for you. It is simply a matter of fact. If you acted because Sheila told you to do it that way, or the employee handbook says to do it that way, or you have always done it that way and no one told you otherwise, you are simply reporting a fact.

You should look at this as an impersonal matter, much as if you are reporting the time or the weather. When you report facts in these situations, there are three rules to remember. The three rules are: don’t apologize, don’t apologize, and don’t apologize. An apology is due when you have done something wrong; no apology is called for when stating the reality of a situation.

Karla, you don’t have an ethical problem here, but the people who know the truth and remain silent do.

Wayne

Missing Holiday Spirit

This Christmas I went to a lot of trouble to find special gifts for my grandchildren. I have some health challenges, and it was a stretch physically to shop for these gifts. Since I was in their neighborhood the week before Christmas, I left my presents under the tree ahead of time.

They expected me Christmas morning, and I called ahead to say I was on my way. When I arrived carrying two grocery bags with food, my grandson met me at the door saying he really liked the books. I couldn’t believe my ears. They had opened my gifts without me!

I told my daughter I was disappointed, and she said she was “sorry” I hadn’t left “instructions.” Her husband told me they have a rule in their house: no whining. What should I do? Skip Christmas for them? Forgive and forget? Move?

Clara

Clara, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it still make a sound? If a child receives a gift and you are not there, is he still filled with joy?

Don’t skip Christmas with your family. Next year take the gifts with you on Christmas morning, and be grateful for a son-in-law with such a wise rule for his household.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

Source: High Quality Article Database – 365Articles.com

Life alignment is the process of taking out the rough spots and aligning your life with your personal goals, desires, and objectives. It all has to do with your core belief systems and how you must learn to enhance them so that you can once again move forward in your life. The ultimate objective of balance is to define who you are now, and define your values, vision, mission, and goals.

The basic elements of aligning your life are simple. As listed below, they consist of a set of core rules that provide an outline to help you grasp and understand what it is that you want out of life. In the e-book Balancing Act — Balance Your Life and Grow Beyond Your Current Boundaries!, we step through these rules so that you can have a set course to follow and understand the concepts presented.

* Who Are You: Define and accept yourself and your surroundings, but do not allow your environment, habits, physical issues, or doubt to define you.

* Accept Responsibility: Do not place the burden of success and failures on others and do not destroy someone else for personal gain.

* Take Control: Do not worry about those things that are out of your control, instead, take responsibility for your life and for things that you can control.

* Obtaining Power: Do not see things as impossible only because you cannot accomplish them immediately. Determine why it appears to be impossible and figure out how to accomplish it.

* Organize Your Life: Define and eliminate false hope and desires. Let go of things that are of little consequence in your life.

* Plan Your Journey: Learn to change and adjust to move along your path toward your new destinations. Never stop looking ahead and never stop learning. Education reduces fear of failure and of the vast unknown.

* Take Action: Reward yourself and live life to the fullest.

Aligning your life involves the organization and management of priorities. It is the elimination of things that are no longer of any use and the alignment of essential items so that they are of greater use to you in your pursuit of your goals. Aligning your life means setting a vision and putting everything in motion to reach that vision.

However, an aligned life is never set in stone. Life alignment is a continual, interactive process. As you move forward in life, you will grow and experience new things. As you grow, your ultimate vision changes, as will your alignment processes and the plans necessary to achieve personal fulfillment.

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