Looking for work is generally a miserable undertaking. No matter how much education and experience you have, you are in a powerless and vulnerable position.

You spend days preparing for an interview, trying to build up your self-confidence, create a relaxed, competent demeanor to disguise the turmoil and anxiety inside, and practice answers to questions you hope the interviewer will ask.

Is there any way to feel really calm as you approach the receptionist, uncomfortably aware that there are other people waiting, perhaps applicants for the same position? Sit down, take a deep breath, and listen to your inner voice.

Welcome the anxiety that is coursing through your veins. It is a free, non-addictive stimulant that is going to keep you on your toes and keep you hyper-alert throughout the interview. Remind yourself that without that anxiety, you would present yourself as lifeless and flat.

Remember the lists you have made: of your personal qualities, your strengths, the weaknesses you have identified which can really be presented as additional strengths. Let your mind slowly scavenge through the mental picture of your resume and pound those bullet-pointed skills into your skull.

Focus on your worth as a human being, your importance to those who know you and love you. You are about to be judged by someone who doesn’t know you at all and who will have less than 60 minutes to assess your qualities. Self-preservation requires that you don’t buy into that judgment. You may, or you may not, be offered be offered the position. Whatever the result, remind yourself that it is not the entire you being accepted or rejected, just your skills and qualities matched against a company’s needs. The job interview is a dynamic process with everyone present involved in the flow. If you feel awkward or very uneasy, it may be that the company or the interviewer(s) are not a good fit for you and not being offered the job may, in the long run, be a blessing in disguise.

By all means, review your interview performance afterwards while it is still fresh in your mind. If you think of better ways you could have answered some questions, write the new answers down so you can review before your next interview. As soon as possible, send a “Thank you” note, restating the personal strengths you want to emphasize. If possible, e-mail or fax that day.

The next two steps are critical to maintaining your enthusiasm and job hunting energy:

a) Relax and let out the stress. Don’t cross-examine every question asked and every answer given or your confidence will erode further in an avalanch of second-guessing and self-criticism. You have enough stress on your plate right now just worrying about whether or not you’ll receive an offer.

b) Be kind to yourself. If you can afford it, take the family out to dinner to celebrate your having obtained an interview and having survived one of the most pressured experiences you will ever undergo. If finances don’t allow that, at least talk to your family about the details, let them show you a little support, and give yourself a whole day off from the job search to relax, relax, relax.

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Priorities

 by: JL Earlywine

Last month’s edition of Footprints and Monuments was about living your life going Mach3 with your hair on fire. Learning from the past, but passionately waiting for tomorrow to get here. The featured person, Richie, recently came to a goal setting seminar that I was leading. Last month you learned that Richie was setting twenty-year goals even though six weeks prior he had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. It saddens me to have to write that Richie died just a few days ago.

Vowing to not let his life, and death, be in vain this month’s edition of F&M is about priorities. Possibly in a way you have never thought about priorities. I once heard a story (summarized here for the sake of time) about a teacher that held up a completely empty two-gallon jar in front of his class. He began to fill the jar with large rocks. When the jar was full to the top he asked his class if it was full. They all responded with a unified, “Yes!”

He then told them that they were mistaken and pulled out a bucket of much smaller rocks and began to pour them in to the jar. He again asked them if the jar was full. The students being a little bit wiser didn’t know how to answer. Some thought yes, others no, and some not sure.

He then pulled out a final bucket full of sand and began to pour it in to the jar. He poured, and then he shook the jar good, and then poured some more until the jar was full to the brim. Finally he asked his students if the jar was full. Most responded affirmatively, “Yes!” He then told them they were right.

The moral of this story is: large rocks must go in the jar first. The same is true of our priorities. Our “big rocks” must come first or they will never make onto our calendars, to-do lists, or prayer lists. The question is, “What should our big rocks be?”

With many rocks to choose from, it is my opinion that there are four that need to go into the jars of our lives first. They are, listed in order, our faith, family, faithfulness, and fun. I understand that there are many more rocks to choose from. For instance, friends, finances, future, and frustrations are important – but we must keep our priorities in line if we are going to end our lives looking back saying, “Well done.”

Our faith needs to be our first big rock. It is God who saves us from eternal death, becomes our best friend during the lonely times of our lives, heals us when doctors give us no hope, and allows peace to rest over us when our lives become chaotic.

Our family must fall in line second, not our careers. There has never been a person on his or her deathbed that wished that he had spent more time working and building his career. Most, if not all, wish that they had spent more time cultivating their family relationships. This was the wish of my friend Richie, something that he tried to do after he was diagnosed with the brain tumor that eventually took his life.

The word faithfulness is not often used in our American culture. The definition of faithfulness here is: Being there (being faithful). Many parents make decision and choices that result in being too busy to “be there” when their child scores the winning touchdown or sings their first solo. Business people routinely make promises that they can’t possibly keep, and marriage vows are broken everyday in our country. God does call us to be faithful, faithful to Him and to others.

Fun is the last big rock in our jars. It is my opinion that many live their lives in a ho-hum routine; working, cooking, cleaning, sleeping, and doing it all over again the next day. I challenge you to spice up your life a bit by adding times to just have fun to your schedule. Do something that you don’t ordinarily get to do. For instance, after the family has retired for the evening, grab a good book and head for a hot, steamy bath (guys this works great for us too).

The little things (small rocks and sand) in our lives are important too. Our friendships make life much more rewarding. When you can help that new widow get from today to tomorrow without shedding a tear you know you have been a friend. Our finances are also important. God tells us in His Word to provide for our family and our future. He also tells us to be content with what we have. If we focus more on what God wants for our lives and not what we want then our future will turn out just right.

The last little rock or sand in our jar are our frustrations, these are the small things that seem to keep us from focusing on the more important things. There are times when we must “sweat the small stuff,” but we must keep our priorities in perspective.

I hope that you will take a close look at your life’s jar and the rocks that go in first. And, like last month, I challenge you to live like you are going to die tomorrow, while at the same time like you are going to live forever.

Footprints and Monuments is a free monthly leadership and motivational e-newsletter. No names receiving this e-newsletter are sold or distributed to any other source. You are encouraged to forward this monthly article to anyone in your address book. To un-subscribe please reply back with “Un-subscribe” in the subject field.

www.jeffearlywine.com

About The Author

JL Earlywine – www.jeffearlywine.com

jeff@jeffearlywine.com

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You have the power to attract and repel anything in life you want! It’s all in your hands. Contentment, happiness, and joy are right around the corner. Hang in here with me; some of this is going to go against the grain of previous thinking.

The Moment Of Truth!

Regardless of whom you are, you are unique, you are special, and you are a wonderful person. Yet, certain people may not think so. :>) if you feel that they react negatively and offensively to many things that you say and do, you may discover some insight here: They are just as human as you are.

You might not want to believe this but; everything that makes you special makes them special. If something offends you, it might also offend them. If something influences you, in some given manner, the same thing might also influence them.

Undesirable reactions on the part of others could be due to what you say and how you say it. Or, it could be because of inner attitudes and your true inner feelings.

The spoken word is often a reflection of the hidden thoughts and attitude of the mind. It may be difficult at times to realize that the fault lies with you. And, it can be just as difficult to initiate a change when you do realize that the fault lies with you.

A Little Difference Makes A Big Difference!

There is a very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it’s positive or negative.

People who want to be happy make the decision to have a positive attitude. People who have a negative attitude, many times, think they have a positive attitude and repel the very happiness they are trying to achieve.

What they attract is unhappiness and go around scratching their head trying to figure out who busted their chops. They don’t recognize it, but a negative attitude is what robbed them of their happiness.

It Just Goes To Show!

Most people don’t really give much thought to “happiness”. They just observe whether or not they are. Most people will try to obtain happiness by searching for it. Most fall flat on their face.

You see, happiness is not obtained by searching for it. Happiness is not obtained by acquiring things like money. I know; I can hear someone now saying, “You’re speaking heresy”! Now listen. There are rich people all over the world that are miserable. And, if you set out to make yourself happy, you will find happiness to be very elusive.

One of the surest ways to obtain happiness is to bring happiness to someone else; when you do this, happiness comes to you. What happens is; it turns on the attraction mechanism and you can’t beat it off with a stick.

Raining Cats And Dogs!

The more you share happiness, the more you will get. But, if you share unhappiness and misery you will get back unhappiness and misery. Sounds logical right? Have you ever known someone who was constantly in trouble? I’m not talking about “opportunities” in disguise.

I’m talking about the person that no matter what happens to him it just isn’t good. This guy will find gasoline in his water bucket if he needs to put out a fire. The reason is; this type of person is always sharing his troubles with someone else.

What happens then? Others begin to avoid him which just makes his unhappiness worse. Other people know if they get around him all they will hear is, “woe is me”.

Whether he will admit it or not, He is trying to get happy by making others feel sorry for him. And maybe they will do something to “fix” his unhappiness; although, he won’t admit he is unhappy.

Someday My Ship Will Come In!

These are the kind of people who long for happiness and love but never seem to get it. They are repelling the very thing they yearn for with a trouble mentality. They just secretly hope that something good will someday somehow come their way.

Take notice of a conflict sometime between two people. If two forceful personalities are similar you can determine that one personality will respond in the same way the other responds.

It’s amazing; one harsh word spoken brings another harsh word. One soft word spoken brings another soft word. For these two personalities to get along in harmony, one will need to develop a mindset of a peacemaker. There will be no harmony until one does so, just a lot of bickering.

Getting To The Top!

The simplest illustration of making this work is that of a salesman and his customer. Every salesman is doing his best to create feelings of happiness and trust in another person. He won’t be able to do that by rubbing where there’s already a rash.

And, that’s where the problem is in most cases. We try to “rub another person’s rash”. They need honey not vinegar. So, we try to achieve our “happiness” by causing others to do what we want; instead of giving them what they want.

It just seems normal to get what we want by force, power, position, authority, etc. All we end up with most times is a can of worms. In the heat of battle, it seems backwards to do otherwise.

So, we put on the boxing gloves and come out swinging. The salesman by contrast, if he has any training at all, will come out with his silver lined tongue all prepared to bathe us in honey and promise us whatever will give us our hearts desire.

Now think about it. If the sale is made, who won? They both did. Who got happy? They both did. Who got what they wanted? They both did. Who laughed all the way to the bank? They both did.

Now just imagine how you could persuade your teenager to clean his room by using the salesman strategy. The point is; we have within us the power to attract everything we want or, repel it into the bottomless pit.

When we get what we desire, we get happy. When we give others something that they feel will make them happy, then happiness comes back to us in waves.

So, what comes first is the sharing of something good and desirable with someone else. Then, something good and desirable that we seek will come back to us.

An Ace Up His Sleeve!

This type of salesman strategy is difficult to adopt. The salesman says the customer is always right. The salesman says there is something that the customer wants and, I have to find a way to give it to him and then I will get what I want.

Think about this: If you find that you are offended when someone yells at you or speaks in a harsh way, you can be sure that someone else is offended by it also, even if it is your five year old son.

Everyone has emotions that need to be stroked. To get what we want we find a way to give them what they want. That’s not to say we let them do whatever they want. Not even a salesman can do that. There will be some things about the product that can’t be compromised. But, that doesn’t stop a sale from being made.

A good persuader will find a way to give the other person what they want and at the same time give themselves what is desirable. If you like being complimented, then it is safe to believe others will like it also.

What Goes Around Comes Around!

So, can happiness be attracted? Can unhappiness be attracted? The answer to both questions is yes. Happiness is attracted by sharing happiness with others. Unhappiness is attracted by spreading trouble, domineering and manipulative attitudes, and imposing selfish desires with no concern of returning something of value to the other person. It’s the, “all about me attitude”.

Richard Vegas ©
Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine “Wing-Tips” The Success System That Never Fails at:
http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com/Articles/articles.html
You may also hear and follow Richard’s music career at:
http://www.richardvegas.com

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Do you have an overstuffed, bulging closet (or two) full of clothes, and yet wear the same three or four outfits repeatedly? Do you have few clothes and despair every time you put something on because you know it just does not look quite right? Would you like to be able to wear EVERYTHING you have in your closet? And know that you look good every time you do?

Renu Dalal-Jain, a certified image consultant and the owner of Flair Consulting in Philadelphia, PA, works with men and women to help them put their best personal face forward in social or corporate settings. Renu teaches her clients how to organize their closets and shop smart so that they always have the right clothes to wear for the right occasion.

Renu teaches five easy steps that you can follow today to organize your closet so that you can understand what you have and what you need to purchase to complete your wardrobe!

FIRST – Prepare! Set aside at least three to four hours for the task, and make sure you have access to a full-length mirror. Wear neutral undergarments, as you will be trying on everything you own. All hangers should be of the same size and type (all plastic, or all wooden) and made for specific clothing items – top/dress hanger, pant hanger, etc. This will save you precious space in your closet. Hangers.com is a wonderful website (www.hangers.com) that sells all types of hangers at less than one dollar apiece.

SECOND – get organized! Dump your entire closet out onto the floor of your bedroom and be brutal with yourself. Those bell-bottoms from 1973 – get rid of them! The shoe with the broken heel that you never got around to fixing… gone! You will be surprised at how much you can get rid of, and how little you really need it. One rule of thumb that Renu always use is that if you haven’t used it in at least one year, YOU DON’T NEED IT. Some of you might think, “Well, it’s got sentimental value – I have to keep that old sweater that I got in fifth-grade band camp!” Well everyone understands sentimental value but it doesn’t belong in your closet. Put it in a box with your scrapbooks and old photos and put it in the attic. Now you will have room for the key things that you are always going to wear, and always going to feel good about. Wear clothes that make you feel radiant, not reasonable!

THIRD – Divide what you have kept of your wardrobe, into business, casual and evening wear. And if you are one of the lucky ones who actually got that long-promised Caribbean vacation, make a section for vacation/resort wear. By organizing your clothes this way, you will know what section to turn to in a snap. When you are dividing your wardrobe, pay attention to your “comfort zones”… do you wear only black slacks and sweaters to the office? Do you have sixteen white button-down shirts? Make notes for yourself so that when you next go shopping, you are aware of what your comfort zone is, and resist purchases within that zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone will help you expand your wardrobe and experiment with other styles.

FOURTH – Try on each item… this is the most important step! Make sure it still fits well, with no pulls, tears, or unseemly tucks or threads. If it’s too tight, too bright, or just plain outdated, even if it’s in mint condition, get rid of it! Make notes of what you no longer have in your wardrobe and need to purchase. For example, if you’ve gotten rid of every old pair of chinos you had, put it on your list of new purchases. If you had one black sweater (a staple item that goes with everything) that was completely worn out, make sure you replace it. Put aside the items you want to keep that need to be mended or cleaned, and make an agreement with yourself to have that done within one week of your personal closet overhaul.

FIFTH – put everything back in your closet and dresser. Renu’s rule of thumb is to hang pants, skirts, shirts, thicker sweaters and jackets. Fold very heavy items like jeans, and very delicate items like undergarments and cashmere or other loose knits, which will lose their shape if hung. Hang your clothes according to business, casual and evening wear. Within those categories, you can further hang all pants together, all shirts together, all skirts together, etc. Hang pants and skirts on clip hangers; folding them over a wire hanger will cause them to wrinkle and become prone to tearing at the bend.

Don’t worry if your closet suddenly looks empty to you. You are just creating the space to build the type of wardrobe you’ve always dreamed of having. Now you can make knowledgeable purchases by understanding what you already have, what your comfort zones are, and what items you really need.

A bonus: feel good while you organize – donate your clothes to any of the many great organizations in your area. In the Philadelphia area, some organizations include:

City Team Ministries – http://www.cityteam.org/philadelphia/
Career Wardrobe – http://www.careerwardrobe.org/
Junior League of Philadelphia – http://www.juniorleaguephila.org/fund.html
Philadelphia Cares – http://www.philacares.com/donate.htm

ABOUT THE AUTHOR