On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could
actually be anything other than who you really are. But
from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to
“fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to
please the people we love, and who love us. But
sometimes that means that you have to suppress what
you know is the real person inside.

If you’re ready to get re-acquainted with someone you
haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 5
ideas to help you rediscover the real you.

1. Quiet the noise in your head. You know those
voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to
pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher,
juggle the bills, call your mother, keep the kids in line,
and keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on,
it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the
din. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that?
By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing
enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from
a position of abundance, instead of lack.

2. Learn how to- and practice – thinking about yourself
in healthy ways. In order to do that, you must first
BELIEVE that you are valuable, and your Real Self has
something to offer the world. Since you talk to
yourself more than everyone else in your life combined,
–that’s a lot of talk!-it’s up to YOU to establish the
healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously
listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the
unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace
them with facts. Talk: “You never do anything right.”
Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did
(example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just
made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better
success next time.”

3. Listen to your heart. Sounds easy enough, but by
the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening
to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two
must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy
to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings
instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking
yourself what you think about something, ask yourself
what you feel. Ask yourself why it’s important. What
are you comfortable with? What’s difficult for you?
Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal, when
what you’re really after is a specific feeling. Keep an
open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the
methods you use to achieve them.

4. Uncover your natural strengths and your natural
talents. Trust your instinct. Look back at your
childhood, and make a list of things that you used to
love to do. Ask why you stopped doing them. If you
always loved adventure, it’s a good bet that’s a part of
the REAL you. Notice what things you now do during
your day – even if only for a few minutes – when you
feel the most happy. If you have no idea what the real
you is, begin to experiment with things that you find
you used to like.

5. Look back again over your life, and begin to
remember times when you felt the happiest. What
were you doing? Who were you with? What skills
were you using? Be willing to tell the truth about who
you are, and what you want in your life. Stop trying to
“be” who or what you think you ought to be. Instead,
determine that you are comfortable with what you want
in your life, and how you want to address the world.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

When you have an impossible manager, quit? Sometimes that’s impossible. If you find yourself in this situation, here are eleven things you should consider.

1.Company culture
2.Everything else is excellent
3.Your outlook
4.Are you in the loop?
5.Age and career potential of the manager
6.Support, life skills
7.Change departments or jobs

1.COMPANY CULTURE

This may be the single most important thing. I’ve visited many offices and each one had its own distinct culture. All companies have the same policies and procedures handbook, basically, because it has to do with legal, but it’s the unwritten rules that dictate.

I can recall some where hostility seemed to be the policy. You could cut the tension with a knife. This will make the company ultimately dysfunctional, but that won’t mitigate the potential damage to your health if you remain. Don’t think “This place is really sick … but I’ll be fine.” It doesn’t work that way.

If you haven’t worked in a lot of different places, or are new to your career, you may not be aware of how distinct this particular culture is or how ingrained it is. Like attracts like, and the people who hire will continue hiring people like themselves, so it will get worse, not better. Therefore there’s little hope you’ll get a better manager when this one leaves.

Understand that you aren’t going to be changing it all by yourself. Your choices are to leave, or to get support and build your lifeskills to deal with the situation. However, understand it’s going to prevail, and will impact your life negatively. Consider carefully what you’re getting out of it that could possibly make up for that.

2.EVERYTHING ELSE IS EXCELLENT

I’ve only heard this comment from someone relatively new to a job. You can count on the fact that after a certain point of time, the negatives will outweigh the positives, but here’s the way to handle that.

“I love my job,” my client Dominica told me. “It has the sort of challenge and variety I love. I’ve never had such latitude. It’s a place where I can gain the skills I need to move to the next level. I get to speak to civic groups a couple of times every week, and there’s even live TV and radio. Where else could I get this? The only thing wrong is Harry and his nit-picking, micro-managing. He’s the only thing that holds me back.” She went on to glow about the working conditions, good equipment, and benefits.

If it’s a position that will move your career path forward and you’re acquiring excellent skills, what should you do? Consider it a temporary position, get the skills you need, see point 6, and be looking all the time for your next career move. Chances are you will get enough good out of the situation to balance the negatives.

Do not get lulled into staying there. A bad manager will ultimately cause more harm than good.

3.YOUR OUTLOOK

Your attitude, optimism and mindfulness are crucial. You must be clear about what’s going on. You must be able to see what the manager is feeding into the equation so you can keep it separate.

It’s possible to last out a bad situation temporarily if you are equipped to deal with it mentally and emotionally. If you’re truly stuck in a bad situation for a while, use your emotional intelligence. (More on this later.) Keep your own thoughts positive. Resist all urges to become cynical and pessimistic. This is not as easy as it sounds, and don’t underestimate it. Consider the job temporary and stick to that policy. Rarely have I talked to someone who really “must” stay where they are. It’s only their perception of things.

Be willing to consider the gains and losses. Often someone staying in a bad situation is considering the money. Eventually you will discover what your health – mental and physical – are worth.

If there’s something there that’s meaningful to you it will help.

I’m thinking of a client I’ll call Linda. She was forced to move to another country and take an inferior job when her husband received a promotion and transfer they couldn’t pass up. After coaching she said to me, “I understand now if I let this be the excuse for not achieving, that will become a pattern.” She quit feeling sorry for herself and started working with what was possible.

4.ARE YOU IN THE LOOP?

One thing that can make a bad manager tolerable is if there is a loop of the other persuasion and you’re in it. A client I’ll call Maria-Marthe found herself in such a situation. There was a core group working for an incompetent and disparaging manager.
They could give each other “consensual validation” about what was going on. There is strength in numbers.

In this case, while you won’t change some things about the manager, your group can bring pressure to bear that will make what the manager has in mind more difficult to achieve. If you do this, you can expect the manager to become more difficult, as he or she perceives something’s going on he or she isn’t in control of, but your daily work life may be better.

5.THE AGE & CAREER POTENTIAL OF THE MANAGER

Most of us looking to get ahead will consider this first thing. Who’s ahead of me that might be blocking the way? In this case you want to know how long this person will likely be there.

If the manager is young and new, they may not last. Actually these days anyone “new” may not last, regardless of age.

If they have some experience under their belt and seem interested in promoting themselves, they’ll probably be moving on and up.

If they are middle-aged, have been there a while, and are dug in like a tick, consider that they will endure and you will not.

If you use your gut instincts, you can tell who is on-the-move, and who has moved in to stay. You can also tell how important this particular manager is to those above him or her. If they are liked by superiors, and a confrontation should occur, they’ll be staying and you’ll be leaving.

Paying attention to things like this will make a difference in your career.

6.SUPPORT & LIFE SKILLS

Whatever your job, whatever your manager, you need support and you need to develop your emotional intelligence. Any difficult or challenging situation is more tolerable if you have resilience, creativity, interpersonal skills, and a support network.

Hiring a coach at this time can move you light years ahead. Using a coach, an outside expert advisor, will help you interpret the situation realistically. If you work with a certified emotional intelligence coach, you will also acquire a set of competencies with beneficial long-term results. This will not be the last difficult situation you face in your career.

7.CHANGE DEPARTMENTS OR JOBS

If the problem goes with you, it’s you and you need to get some coaching!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

A Life of Purpose’s Extraction

 by: Tushar Jain

Purpose. What is purpose? Drinking coffee when you wake up and making a habit of drinking coffee only when you wake up? No. Trying to drink coffee when it’s hot and trying conscientiously to make it a habit to swallow it hot? No. Blowing white, shivering steam off the surface and then, guttering it down immediately so that it’d fall lightly against the cylindrical walls of your gorge? No.

Purpose is about drinking tea.

It is not ambition. It is not about making money. It is not even about fame. In any of them, almost every human being will be privileged without any effort at all in some portent or another. Purpose is not borrowed or decided or concluded or made, for heaven’s sake! Purpose is extracted.

But how do we extract? Or do we need to worry, at all, about such concepts when our individual interests are being conflicted in the pandemonium of daily life and when there is nothing more we’d like to do than to sit beside a bonfire and have tea and crumpets with a rather chummy neighbor.

If we might have tea, we might as well, have purpose.

I wish to apprise you of something and let me assure you that it’s the most secretive secrets of all – there is hope. And if I said that it’s for mankind, it’d be too banal and I would be probably lying or talking in a sphere that I may not include myself in. I mean, that there is hope that we can still extract it out.

Every country, every city, every town, every alley, every home has a deep corroded, squalid and bacteria-encroached well somewhere on the near outskirts. Deep in this staling, chalk-dusted pit, down in a very small weathering corner, there is hope. And there, just besides it is – purpose.

If I am not being able to fool you with anecdotes and word-play and poor allegories, I might as well come out in the brave yellow of the constant open sun and feel it vibrate my flesh with humanness. People, I am taking of purpose.

Crude word it is, I know. And it means so little in this insensitive world. But I believe that it, hardly, has anything to do with the world or with humanity or cruelty or man, himself. Allow me to explain –

I never understood why any man who has nothing to or for the entire world, as a whole, would consider to amass it in himself everyday. What happened at the football match? Who won the election? What is the solar system? How does the knowledge that the earth revolve around the sun twenty four hours a day, we are made of cells which in turn are made of monosaccharide, Red Sox play better than any other team on the planet, there is a new movie on pay T.V. – supply us with anything but entertainment and how can entertainment provide us with anything except illusions?

It comforts and eats on vanity. The comfort, the temptation that our will is succumbing to every time, it provides not to our ignorance but to the bliss that is so attached with it.

But I believe, when a man who has shunned worldly advantage, worldly thought and worldly significance comes down like a deflating balloon, to the deserted island of the human being, he might feel alone. Eventually, he might feel bored and after a while of this, he might attempts killing himself which is, of course, the most appropriate thing to do for a man as him. But, just maybe, if he didn’t, if he waited long enough – soon he would start seeing the well. And if he dared to travel the harsh journey up to it and he cricked his spine, arched it and bent down like a folding safety-pin, he might find it down, pretty beneath – a fluorescent glare of metal. Purpose. Tea. Not coffee.

It is difficult. So hard, that many die without even discovering the pit; they die of the pathos, of the patience. If anybody asked me that what would we achieve with purpose and how could it direct a man – I would say that I don’t know, because, as of now, I am still trying. I haven’t even deflated enough. I like my Frasier and Friends, all the same. I’m trying. But coffee was always a bad addiction and a favorite.

I believe that when we dig holes, we don’t do it for the earth and certainly not for the mud, neither to get our hands soiled and nor to waste time. We dig because it delights us to discover. A better invention. A proper cause. A perfect reason. Some dig longer than others, some try and abandon, some tire and leave, a handful go on.

I dig because I need to have a more stated life and being. I want to know why I belong. I have already discovered myself, I just want to know what have I discovered and what difference it entitles me to. I want to dig because it helps me escape and through the thick, slime of mud and loam, I can see the soft finger of smoldering light trying to rise and touch me. I feel it… almost there.

I deserve Tea.

About The Author

Hi. I am a teenager and i you cared to read it, I think that it was considerate of you anyhow. Thanking you dearly. T.Jain

mosaics12@rediffmail.com

Source: High Quality Article Database – 365Articles.com

When you find yourself procrastinating on a particular
project, or just delaying in general, it is always a good
idea to ask why. If a task is difficult, it’s difficult
for a reason; you need to know what that reason is, even if it’s
just a nagging habit you’ve developed.

Yes, procrastination can be just a habit, and sometimes
society even rewards you for delaying action, such as late
season Christmas bargains. It’s not always a bad thing to
look before you leap – no one wants to make a poorly
thought out decision. But if delaying is causing problems
in your life, the reason could be due to anger, fear, or
denial.

The next time you find yourself procrastinating on a
particular project, ask yourself these questions.

1. Do I find it hard to just get started? The hardest
thing about everyday tasks is getting started on them. It’s kind
of like pushing a stalled car…once you get going,
everything rolls right along. Push Past Procrastination by
setting up systems that help you. For example, I had a
jigsaw puzzle that I just couldn’t seem to finish even
though I wanted to use it as part of my wall decoration. I
finally set it up on its own little table, then moved the
table out into the traffic pattern where I would see it
constantly. That got my attention, and got the puzzle
finished.

2. Do I feel qualified to perform the task? Am I in over
my head? Being afraid that you will fail at something is a
sure-fire way to get you to stop before you’ve started.
Push Past Procrastination by being honest with yourself
about your level of training in that particular task. Don’t
complain or delay. Simply request help from someone
qualified who can help you learn.

3. Is this something I really want? I was having trouble
finishing painting my kitchen and I couldn’t figure out
why. As I started to really think about it, I realized that
I didn’t’ really like the color. Martha Stewart said I ought
to like it, but I just didn’t. As soon as I mentally fired
Martha and got the color I wanted, I finished in no time.
Push Past Procrastination by telling the truth about what
you really want out of life. Live as the star of your own
life, not as an extra in someone else’s.

4. Does the task seem huge, even overwhelming? Push
Past Procrastination by breaking the job down into
smaller steps to get it under control and manageable.
Instead of considering painting the whole inside of the
house, focus on only one room or even one wall.
Schedule a specific amount of time that you will spend on
it each day, or week. Set realistic goals for yourself,
instead of expecting to accomplish everything
immediately.

5. Are there too many things demanding my attention so
that nothing of real value gets done? Push Past
Procrastination by setting priorities. Do things that are
important to you and your life. Develop a filter system
so that only what’s contributing to your goals gets in.
Making a task easier often comes with making a choice to
adjust your schedule, re-allocate your money, or choosing
how to spend your energy.

6. Is this really my goal, or is it someone else’s? Are
you doing it to please someone? Obviously there’s nothing
wrong with pleasing the people you love. But if you find
yourself in a role or job that no longer fits, it’s a signal
that you will need to find another route to take. Push Past
Procrastination by examining how you spend your time,
what roles you are playing, and how they relate to who
you are at this time in your life.

7. Am I afraid of the outcome? Procrastination may
show up in employment when the fear of finishing one
project without having another on the horizon may mean
that you would get laid off. Procrastination may show up
if you fear being blamed for bad results. Procrastination
may show up in personal situations as a fear of losing
what you now have, even if it’s not what you want. Push
Past Procrastination by having reserves. Without
reserves, you live in fear. Fear causes you to make
decisions you don’t like, which in turn makes you
procrastinate. Build reserves and fear will no longer slow
you down.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR