It’s My Blankey and I’m Keeping It!

 by: Gene Simmons

“Blankey” – as in Security Blankey. OK? All parents know what this is. Sometimes it’s an actual “blankey”, or it may be a pillow, a doll or some other favorite toy or scrap of material. It’s the “thing” that provides a measure of security to developing young minds in a sometimes scary new world. It’s the “thing” the little ones sleep with, eat with, and lug around until it becomes almost unrecognizable. God forbid that we should ever misplace our blankey. It would be absolutely impossible to live without it!

But then we grow taller and get older. We mature and no longer have a need for our once dearly loved “blankey”.

Right…

If you believe that last statement, I have some prime hillside property in Tennessee I can make you such a deal on! I know, I know – very few of us are still hauling around the old tattered blanket or Mrs. Beasley doll from our youth. We’d get more weird looks than any of us could probably handle. However, I’d bet at least a nickel or two that every single one of us is the proud possessor of some kind of blankey. And yes, in some cases it may still be some kind of object – only now, since we’re adults and obviously more mature – it’s more likely our “lucky charm/shirt/shoes/penny/key ring/hat/rock/you name it”. It’s the “thing” that provides that little extra level of security and comfort in a still scary world.

No, of course there’s nothing wrong with carrying a lucky whatever around with us. Well, up to a certain point that is. If we go to extremes and refuse to even leave the house without it for fear that we’ll be hit by an eighteen-wheeler, we really should be seeking some professional counseling. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

Frequently, our adult blankey is not a physical object. It often comes in the form of a personal belief system. It’s a concept – a focus – that we rely on to act as our haven from the storms of life. Our security in yes, a still scary world. Frequently, our adult blankey is based upon our religious or spiritual beliefs. Sometimes it’s part of our quest for development – physically, mentally or emotionally. Unfortunately, it occasionally also can take the form of self-debilitating actions used to compensate for a perceived lack of adequacy in some part of ourselves.

It’s obvious that (in reference to the last sentence) that an obsessive quest for power, money, attention, etc. is not necessarily in our best interests. And it should be apparent too, that a reasonable reliance on our religious or spiritual beliefs to carry us through life can be a good thing for us – as can reasonable efforts toward any type of self-improvement.

The problem is that sometimes we carry things to an extreme. We become so over-focused on our blankey that we forget that there’s a big blob of real world all around us. We cover our heads with our blankey and try to hide from the realities of life. And unfortunately, we frequently succeed.

Blankies are good. They can be comforting and can provide a foundation for our lives – and for our personal development. They can also encase our minds, restrain our normal curiosities, and inhibit our ability to truly enjoy life. We need to be careful of that, I think…

About The Author

Gene, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles and links along with affordable books and materials written to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life’s “secrets for survival” in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It’s a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/

gene@nupathz.com

Source: High Quality Article Database – 365Articles.com

“Although I took to New York straight away I was really
lonely. I would take whatever I could in a taxi-cab to wher-
ever I was going to next. I’d take a big breath, grit my teeth,
blink back my tears and say, ‘I’m gonna do it- I have to do it
because there’s nowhere else for me to go.” (Madonna)

The above quote whether you care for Madonna or not is
about *desire*. I personally know about *not knowing what’s
next, about taking a big breath, gritting my teeth, blinking
back my tears and saying: *I’m gonna do it- I have to do it
because there’s nowhere else for me to go*.

I personally know about that level of desire, where you have
to have something, so much that you taste it in every part of
you.

If you or I want the experience of Millionaire, or simply a
lifestyle that reflects ease, success and harmony in all areas
of our lives, including finance, and livelihood; then our desire
level has to be that high and that deep in order to attract it.

The *it* we are wanting to attract is in the experience, event
or circumstance that carries to us our overall intention for
lifestyle/livelihood change. This is about the energy that we
are emitting that is then answered by conscience/universe/god/
spirit.

If we are allowing our checking account balance, which is
that limiting line that we may think of constantly, to keep us
from following our inspirations, our loves or gifts, then it too
limits us in what we emit and how we are answered.

If we say, we don’t think about money that much, then I have
to ask *you*, are your dreams coming true? And if they are or
they are not, is sweet money attached to it in some way but
*you* are not choosing to see it that way?

In studying wealth & successful people who have also chosen
to follow their gifts, which then led them to wealth & success,
they all had several things in common.

A. They had a high desire and would not allow themselves to
get in their own way, no matter what.
B. They developed many income streams. If you want wealth
it will not come from your 9-5 job.
C. They followed what they really loved to do, no matter
what.

All of A-B-C above are about moving energy . We are now
understanding how to do it on purpose so that we don’t have
the hardships along the way.

But the most important part is that this high desire comes
from our Spirit side. We the human personality are merely
the dress. Are You Paying Attention? Or are you pushing
high desire away from you, because it may send you out into
that wonderful place of the unknown, which is where our
*dreams come true* are. Are you Paying attention? Am I?
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am.

Where in lies your desire? It’s the primary tool to bring to
you your dreams come true! Can you feel the Heat of it?
I can…..it’s in every cell of my body.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Some lessons life has taught me:

I CREATE MY OWN REALITY.

I firmly believe that I have created every item, person and
situation in my life. Even the ones that seem way outside
of my ability to create. Even the ones I don’t like. I
believe that we make a choice before we enter this life to
experience particular emotions and we, unconsciously for the
most part, find the things, people and situations that will
allow us to feel those emotions. This is a very powerful
concept. For one thing, it immediately makes us stop being
victims. By accepting the responsibility for everything
present in my life today, I claim the power to create
everything in my life tomorrow.

Every experience in life is an opportunity to learn. The
trick is to ask, as quickly as possible, ‘what have I
learned from this? Who am I today that I wouldn’t be if
this didn’t happen?’. Sometimes it’s about learning how to
take care of ourselves. Sometimes it’s just about
experiencing a feeling or emotion that we hadn’t felt
before. The important thing is to learn the lesson, so that
negative experience doesn’t need to be repeated.

IT ONLY HAS TO BE HARD IF I WANT IT TO BE HARD.

I don’t believe the expression ‘No pain, no gain’. I do
believe that when there is pain, there is always gain. But
it only has to be hard if I want or need it to be hard. And
why would I want or need it to be hard? Because even though
my logical mind understands and buys into the concept that
it can be easy and effortless (whatever it is), since birth
I have been barraged with messages that say you have to
work hard to get what you want, life isn’t about being
easy, et cetera. These are deep in my subconscious and
that’s where the process always starts. Even the word
‘process’, which I used for many years to mean facing
life’s lessons head on, took on the meaning of ‘painful
work’. Today, when I catch myself struggling, I create
affirmations that include the words ‘easily’ and
‘effortlessly’. This is a choice that I am consciously
making in my life and the language I use can either support
or contradict it.

IT’S 11:30. IF I COULD BE ASLEEP, I WOULD BE ASLEEP.

Many years ago, when my niece was about 6, I was trying to
get her to go to sleep. She sat up, put one hand on her hip
and pointed to the clock with the other. In a voice full of
disgust and exasperation, she said, ‘Aunt Louise, it’s
11.30. If I COULD be asleep, I WOULD be asleep.’ It was
hard to argue with that, because it was true. And it made
me realize how often I do a number on myself because I’m
not where I think I should be, or haven’t reached a goal
I’ve set for myself. The reality is that there are many
forces at work –true desire, limiting beliefs, time
constraints, to name just a few. If I could be there, I
would be there. In the 12 years or so since my niece said
that to me, I’ve said it to myself a thousand times. It
helps me to let go of feeling like I’ve failed, and helps me
ask the questions that need to answered in the moment.
These questions are usually things like ‘what do I need to
do/learn before I can go on to this?’, ‘is this something I
truly desire, or just think I should desire?’, etc.

IF I SAY I WANT SOMETHING, AND I DON’T HAVE IT, THEN WHAT
DO I WANT MORE?

This may be the most valuable thing I’ve ever learned.
Because I believe I create my own reality, then the reality
I have is what I’ve created. And, although I may not like
what I’ve created, I need to take full responsibility for
it. So, if I don’t like it and I say I want something else,
and I continue working towards that goal and it still
doesn’t materialize, then it’s time to stop and ask this
question: ‘What do I want more?’ Our unconscious goals,
desires and beliefs are much more powerful than our
conscious ones. And because they’re ‘unconscious’, we are
not even aware they are there. They just control what we
manifest, leaving us feeling unsatisfied, frustrated and
disappointed.

The most striking example of this I can give is the fact
that for much of my adult life, I was not in a serious
relationship, although I said I wanted one. When I stopped
and asked the ‘What do I want more’ question, I got a very
surprising answer: Space! I had a ‘thing’ about my own
space. I’d always had a lot of space, all filled with my
stuff. For some reason, I had equated being in a live-in
relationship as meaning I would lose my space. It’s been
almost ten years since I asked this particular question and
I am now married to a wonderful, sensitive person. It was
scary in the beginning, but once I was able to put the two
choices side by side (something you can’t do when one is
unconscious!), I was able to make a true choice. Sometimes,
when we gravitate to the same room as we often do, I have
to smile as I recall my fears when he first moved in. Today,
I can not relate to the space issue at all and have
difficulty understanding why it was more important to me
than being in a loving, committed relationship. I am SO
glad I asked that question!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Identity Theft

 by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers – Column for the week of August 30, 2004

I’ve known my best friend for six years. Initially I thought she was a great person who was there for me in times of crisis. As time went by I noticed she was very competitive with others, and then I saw she was most competitive with me.

She will ask what I am wearing, then wear something shorter or more low-cut. She sees me in something, then buys that exact item. She copies phrases I say and repeats facts from me and claims them as her own. When we were in college, she constantly tried to one-up me in grades and games, even cheating to do so.

I confronted her after a close mutual friend brought this to my attention. I tiptoed around the issue because I did not want to hurt or insult her. She said she competed with everyone, but not me, because with me she feels she cannot compete. After that I let it go.

Not to boast, but I am an attractive person, and her male friends always ask about me. I only mention this because I know she is insecure, even though she is an attractive girl who is physically fit, smart, with many friends.

When I moved, she purposely “forgot” to pass on invitations to a wedding and to a reunion of college friends. She forgot my birthday, then tearfully explained it was all a misunderstanding. Mind you I live five minutes from her house, and she did not even pick up the telephone.

You cannot get into a car without her speeding to show you how fast she can go, or be in a group without her trying to appear more intelligent than you in conversation. I see the person she is inside, and I don’t like that person.

Part of my problem is during college she was there for me financially when my family could not be. I will always love her for that. Even though I paid back every dollar, I still feel indebted. Sometimes I think she only helped me so she could feel superior.

Hailey

Hailey, who you are is a compilation of all you have experienced. You were raised to be good and polite. You have a sense of style and a sense of self. But your friend is invading your identity.

Robbers in a home invasion might take a homeowner’s gun and use it against her. You may not own a gun, but you own a sense of niceness and your friend is using that sense of niceness against you. The word “nice” comes from a Latin word which means to be ignorant. You are not ignorant of what is going on, but you are ignorant of your own best interest.

She is injuring you. When you fail to confront her, you are not being honest, and being honest outweighs being nice.

You’ve seen inside her, and you don’t like what you see. The only way to take back your identity for your sole use is by severing this relationship. Don’t be nice. Be honest.

Wayne & Tamara

Criminal History

Can a second marriage succeed if both parties cheated on their spouse in the first marriage?

Alex

Alex, is there honor among thieves? That is what you are asking.

There is an honesty to ending a marriage when you don’t love your spouse and don’t believe the marriage should continue. Divorce may not be a pleasant thing under those circumstances, but at least it is an honest thing. There is a creepy, under-the-rock, loathsome quality when someone breaks the vow of fidelity while holding to the convenience of the marriage.

That’s what occurs when you start a new relationship before ending the previous one. You crave assurances the cheater won’t cheat on you, but there is no assurance of that. It’s hard to live in the present while watching your back.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

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