7 Ways to Defang Difficult People

 by: Tom Russell

Difficult people are on the hunt for a quarrel. It’s not personal, usually. It’s just that you happen to be the most convenient target.

Difficult people are insecure. They want YOU think and live like THEY think and live. Misery indeed loves company. They feel better if you are tense and unhappy.

What can you do to instantly neutralize their negativity? You cannot stop them from being difficult and demanding. Heaven help you if you try! But you can control your own reactions through the amazing power of NowFacts.

What are NowFacts?

Simple, healthy and truthful principles you voice to yourself silently, in the present moment. Speech is powerful! It is your connecting point back to your calm and intelligent center. Speech instantly reminds you of the wisdom and power you already possess.

Here are 7 NowFacts you can use when difficult people are on the prowl. These are secret silent statements you say to yourself:

1. I am not an actor who must obey your script.

The difficult person has a script. In the script he writes that you get angry, that you fight with him, that you condemn him, that you get stressful and frustrated. Difficult people want opposition. That is their primary aim! When you employ this NowFact you inform yourself that you have the power of choice. You are never compelled to go along with their script. A silent refusal to take the bait sends a very powerful signal to the difficult person. They get it!

2. I just cannot afford you any more.

This NowFact reminds you that some relationships carry much too high a price. You have to let go. There is no feeling of superiority or hostility. You simply cannot afford the relationship any more. It cost too much. You have to move on because you know it is best for YOU and for the other person.

3. I see your rage as childish, not forceful.

Here is how you can heal your perceptions. This NowFact reminds you that anger is weakness, not strength. Work with this NowFact and watch it release its treasures of wisdom and self-command. You’ll never again cringe before an angry person.

4. You don’t know it, but I remain at a safe inner distance from you.

Personal growth widens the gap between both your own inner negativities and those of others. You see anger from a higher place. Instead of being immersed in it, you’re above it now. You need never descend to a lower level to accommodate an immature adult. With NowFacts, your life is in your power!

5. I will not injure you by doing your work.

Difficult people are very sly in getting others to carry their load. They ARE difficult precisely because they have refused self-responsibility. We harm adults when we do things for them they must do for themselves. This NowFact is compassion in action. Truth is never clouded by sentimentality, which is nothing more than cruelty in disguise.

6. I sense a lot of violence in your gloom.

This NowFact is in the same category as number 3 above, “I see your rage as childish, not forceful.” It is called “reframing.” Reframing teaches us to see things through an entirely different lens. It is an amazingly effective method for self-renewal.

Difficult people are often gloomy. How often have we tried to cheer one of them up and been bitten? It can be compassionate to say an encouraging word at times. But we have to be wise! Hardened and dedicated difficult people want your cheerful words, not to pick themselves up, but to pull you down with them! Sense the violence behind their mask of gloom and you empower yourself.

7. If you want a destructive fight you will have to fight all alone.

A destructive fight is what the difficult person is after. It’s what THEY want, not what YOU want. With this NowFact you can stay in your own clear skies.

If you refuse to battle the difficult person on their own turf, what can they do about it? The only way they can control you is if you catch the negative ropes they toss. Anger, guilt, frustration — all these negative ropes fall to the ground, unclaimed by you, once you learn to leave the problem with the person who has it.

Conclusion

Remember, these NowFacts are voiced silently within yourself, unless you know you are alone. They help you ignite self- understanding you already possess but have temporarily forgotten. Difficult people seem to have power only when YOUR True Power is temporarily dormant. Wake it up!

Nothing is more beneficial than standing up for what you know to be true. Don’t let the world and its drowsy people tell you what is true for you. Tell yourself! Passivity in the face of falseness is the underlying cause of the world’s problems. With NowFacts you reclaim your life with its inherent happiness, intelligence and humor. Nothing is more fun!

About The Author

Tom Russell is the author of Several eBooks, including “The Power of Vertical Thinking” and “Seven Secrets to Light Up Your Essence.” He is the host of http://www.SuperWisdom.com and the editor of the SuperWisdom E-zine, read biweekly by more than 20,000 people in 42 countries. He assists professional salespeople and entrepreneurs to live with greater energy, focus and spiritual insight. He has been interviewed on more than 200 radio and TV talk shows.

Source: High Quality Article Database – 365Articles.com

At one time or another, each one of us will suffer from some kind
of adversity. Especially in recent weeks, many of us who have
always felt invincible have seen evidence to the contrary. Many
of us have lost friends of loved ones, and all of us are feeling
the pain of loss and invasion.

Some of us have experienced more adversity in our lives than
others. Many of us have suffered from financial hardship,
physical or mental illness, or other difficulties that never seem
to let up. However, as many Americans have said in recent days,
we cannot let adversity change our way of life or deter us from
living. If we do, the forces of evil and sadness will have found
victory. And we simply cannot let that happen.

Such is the case in any aspect of life. From personal experience
in battling four incurable illnesses, including MS and Lupus, I
cannot even express to each and every one of you how important it
is to look adversity in the face and continue on, chasing your
dreams.

When I was diagnosed with my diseases, I was utterly devastated.
For a time, I thought I’d never achieve my dreams of going to
college, teaching, and being a writer. But with the help of a
supportive husband and children, I started college at age 46,
graduated, and became a published author. I’m now a well-known
writer, teacher, and online businesswoman. In spite of all that
has gone wrong in my life, I have found success and fulfilled my
dreams, and so can you.

Instead of letting life’s obstacles bring you down and destroy
you, use them. Use your adversities to make you stronger and
help you succeed in business, education, or whatever you choose.
Use hardship to toughen you.

Telling your story to your customers and associates will
undoubtedly get you support, respect, and even success. Don’t
embellish your tale or beg for pity, but don’t be afraid to let
people know what you have been through. Being honest about your
life’s history will inspire trust and understanding in others who
may very well have been down the same road.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I had a really neat experience this morning. I was having a conversation with a friend when he suddenly asked me to chat with his wife and briefly explain what “life coaching”
was about. Although I was a bit surprised by his sudden request, I happily agreed.

Within seconds, I heard his wife Meg cheerfully greeting me on the other end of the phone. She began by explaining
that she was in the middle of “cleaning gunk from the drain,” but she wanted to know what life coaching was all about.
I took a deep breath, preparing to give her my quickest rap, and out of my mouth popped “life coaching is like cleaning the gunk out your drain.”

After the power of that image sunk in, and I wondered if he thought I was crazy, I realized life coaching is
exactly like cleaning the gunk from our drains. Life coaching is about clearing the gunk from our lives!

Our lives can be full of debris and gunk that interrupt the effortless flow of a purposeful, passionate and fulfilling life. The gunk accumulates and gradually zaps our energy and creative passion, usually without us even noticing it. Many people learn to tolerate it, and some eventually
experience a crisis, an illness, or simply find themselves wondering “is this all there is?” These are the reasons most of my clients come to me.

Here are the top 6 sources of gunk that could be blocking your flow. I invite you to take a minute and consider the following possibilities:

1. Limiting beliefs
Have you ever stopped and listened to what’s going on
inside your head? We are so full of shoulds and woulds that we don’t even know what we truly think or feel.
No wonder we have difficulty imagining the life we want. The first step in changing our lives is changing
our thinking.

2. Draining relationships
Are you happy? Are you loved for exactly who you are and do you love without condition? Everyone deserves
emotional fulfillment. Developing balanced partnerships add quality to life.

3. Career dissatisfaction
You open your eyes on a new day…. Are you excited to meet your world and express yourself? We spend a significant part of our time at “work”. Finding your true-life purpose ends the
feeling like you are dragging yourself through your life.

4. Scarcity thinking
This is a big one. Do you feel like most of your energy goes into surviving and feeling like there’s never enough time, money, etc.? The universe is abundant and provides for you. There is an unlimited supply! You can shift your perspective and attract what you want in your life.

5. Not getting your basic needs met
Let’s get down to basics. How well do you take care of yourself? This is really important. On an airline flight you are instructed to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.
This makes good sense. How can you really serve others if your own needs aren’t met? Deal with your own unmet needs once and for all.

6. The things you’re putting up with
What are you tolerating that continues to drain your energy? Tolerating is different than being flexible. Take a good look at the areas in your life where you feel frustrated. Consider the possibility that what you “put up with” maybe draining the
energy that you could be using to live a happier life!

Start clearing the gunk from your drain, and you’ll experience
more energy, more passion and a life that flows. You’ll more easily
be able to take action and create a satisfying and fulfilling life.
If you need some help, consider a plumber (or maybe your own
personal coach).

It’s your life… Imagine the possibilities!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The Best Way to Pick Up a Girl

 by: Paul Kyriazi

You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive. But nobody to introduce her to you. ‘Ah, I’ll do a James Bond on her,’ you think. Now what was Bond’s first words to Pussy Galore? ‘I must be dreaming.’ No, that won’t work. How about singing ‘Underneath the Mango Tree’ to her as Bond did to Honey Rider in ‘Dr. No’. Ah? No! Well, what’s left? You’ll just have to go up and talk to her, if it’s a situation where you won’t see her again. But it’s always safe to assume that she has a boyfriend that can squeeze the stuffings out of a gold ball. That aside, take a chance and make polite conversation. What’s the worst that can happen. She says, ‘I’m sorry, I’m not available.’ and you save the time and money of a date with her. Like George Burns says, ‘When a beautiful woman says ‘no’ to me, it’s a relief.

If you know that you will see her again, like at your university, your job, or working at a restaurant, you can have another shot at her and use the shy man’s approach to getting a date.

‘You farm boys don’t make a pitch, you just shy your way into position,’ Ann Margaret says to Pat Boone in ‘State Fair’.

Okay, here it is. Instead of asking her to dinner or out on a date which has romance intended, get some tickets to a concert or event first, and then with tickets in hand say, ‘I just happened to have tickets to this event. If you’d like to go with me, I’d be happy to take you.’ This way the subject is the event. Talk about the person singing at the concert, instead of if the two of you could hit it off or not. She can easily say yes or no, or ask more questions about you or the time and place of the event. She doesn’t have the pressure of turning you down, so she can just turn the event down and that will be that. And if by chance she can’t make that date, but is interested in you, she can start talking about going out another time.

I’ve strongly suggested this ‘ticket’ technique to both men and women who are infatuated with someone at work, or at shop, or restaurant, and have no idea how to make an approach. If the person is available, they usually say yes to an invitation. After all, it’s just going to an event. It’s not really a date.

I used this ‘ticket’ technique in college to ask out a beautiful stranger. I was very shy, but was ‘in love’ from a distance so I had to take some kind of scary attraction. Her name was Cindy and I often saw her in the student lounge surrounded by guys. It took weeks of watching her before I could catch her walking alone, and ask her if she’d like to go see the reserved seat Cinerama showing of ‘Grand Prix’. She said, ‘Well, I don’t know you, but if you come and talk to me sometimes and I get to know you, then maybe.’

So in the next days I made an attempts at getting in a few words with her as she talked with her friends. Then I found out she was taking the film appreciation class that I had taken a semester earlier. So I pushed the teacher to show my new 16mm action film in the class that she was in. He fiqured I had a secret motive because he said he’d show it in the morning class, but I said it had to be shown in the afternoon class (the one Cindy was in). Finally, he agreed.

I not only directed the film, but had a part in it where I used my newly learned karate and hoped she would be impressed. The film went over great with the class cheering and applauding. As she was leaving the class I said to her, ‘Well, do you know me well enough now?’ She said, ‘To go out with you? I replied, ‘Yes.’ She smilled and nodded her head yes. So don’t ‘ask her out’. Don’t ‘take her to dinner’. Get some tickets, and maybe she’ll answer you like Cameron Diaz does in ‘Charlie’s Angels’. ‘Tickets? I love tickets!’

About The Author

Paul Kyriazi – Live the James Bond Lifestyle

http://www.BondLife.com

Source: High Quality Article Database – 365Articles.com