Kissing the Blarney Stone at Blarney Castle in Ireland
is said grant you the ability to make coversation the
gift of eloquence and, given the abilities of the Irish to
talk, who are we to question tradition?
Conversation skills are something many of us wish
we had but travelling to Blarney Castle might not
work for everyone.
Here are a few tips to help anyone improve their
conversation skills.
1. Speak about what you know
In conversation our words betray our knowledge.
There is a well known saying “put your brain into gear
before opening your mouth” and all of us, at some
time, have wished we’d done exactly that.
Conversations on subjects we know something about
are always much safer.
If you don’t know about a subject, listen and learn,
and if you are asked your opinion preface it with “this
is something I know little about..” then give an honest
opinion. We all have our limitations, and you will be
respected for your honesty.
2. Actively Listen
Active listening is one of the main conversation skills.
Concentrate on what others say and how they say it.
As you listen to the words listen to the variation in the
pitch of their voice. See how it changes depending on
mood and how the tone and pitch change what’s
being said.
3. Watch their Body Language
Watch how others communicate is another major
conversation skill. Don’t just listen to what others say,
watch their body language and their gestures. If all
you do is listen to the words you will miss most of
what they are saying.
4. Acknowledge your Errors
One conversation skill often overlooked is admitting
an error. We all make mistakes, and if you realize
you’ve made a mistake acknowledge it. If you are
usnure about a word check if you pronounced it
correctly or ask if you used the word in the right
context. People accept honest mistakes, however if
you are always using long words just to show off they
will quickly lose interest.
5. Make Eye Contact with your Audience
An essential conversation skill when listening and
speaking is to use eye contact to maintain a
connection. It doesn’t matter if you have an audience
of one or one hundred, maintaining eye contact
keeps them involved. Practice eye contact in a mirror
and note what makes you uncomfortable as it
probably has a similar effect on others.
6. Smile and Inject a Little Humor
When done well it can lift the tension, or recapture
those individuals whos thoughts have drifted away.
You will retain the attention of the majority of the
group or audience and they will feel more
comfortable.
Unless you are a stand up comedian don’t crack
jokes. It is much better to tell humorous stories based
on your experiences but don’t laugh hysterically at
your own stories. Allow others to appreciate them
without being embarrassed at your behaviour.
7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the
shower or the bath and you think of yourself as the
next Frank Sinatra or Eva Cassidy. Leave those
dreams and opinions in the bathroom! In
conversation don’t inflate your own ego by continually
talking about yourself.
One often overlooked conversation skill is to involve
others, by asking them their opinion and give them a
chance to talk. Don’t belittle their opinions, give
others the respect you like others to give to you.
8. Get Involved in Social Groups.
Whether that’s a night school drama course, a course
to improve your public speaking, salsa lessons or a
group or society related to a hobby or your work. Get
out there and talk to lots of different people and you
will pick up all the conversation skills you need.
9. Practice, practice, practice
Think of a few anecdotes and stories and write them
out before you go out. If you have a tape recorder
record your stories and listen to them again. Think of
the questions you would like to ask others and your
answers to the same questions. Now if you are asked
you will be able to deliver a more relaxed answer.
Being confident in the company of others is difficult
for many. Few have excellent conversation skill and
the majority just about cope. As with anything else
conversation skills and confident speaking are all
about knowledge and experience.
About the Author
John has 4 grown up and successful children and recently
completed a writing degree. He now writes on a number
of topics including building self esteem .
Go to http://www.buildingselfesteem.info for more articles
on self help and confidence.